When will you get the courage?

And that is how courage works- courage is not about the feeling that precedes the action- courage is the action. And self confidence is the thing that comes AFTER the action, when we later have a chance to realize that we just showed up for ourselves. We just did the thing that we didn't think we could do. 

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Kristen Hubbard
Photoshoots, RBF, and self acceptance

And in that moment- for the first time in a long time- I realized I could stop trying to be something I wasn't, even if that truth settled in me only for a moment or so. I knew it would come back. That the universe would send me more moments, more Aprils, more tea dates with friends, more smacks about the head reminding me to embrace the circles of my own trunk. And I felt relief. Because the only circles I had ever accepted were the ones I was running to get away from the simplest truth that's taken me almost 31 years to figure out:

We are who we are, and thank God for that...because (and I say this in my most assertive, strong and femininely masculine voice I have) - that is fucking beautiful.

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Kristen Hubbard
I'm Fine...

I say “I’m fine” and take pretty pictures of nature and write Instagram posts about letting go and moving on and self acceptance and personal growth. I hide behind a filter of the things I want you to see and I pray you don’t ask me what the original looks like. Because the original isn’t as aesthetically pleasing.

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Kristen Hubbard
But What If I Don't Want a 6 Pack?

Okay… I mean, there’s a part of me that wants one. The part of me that is sick of looking in the mirror and seeing an extra layer of adipose tissue softening and filling in the definition I’ve worked pretty hard to attain. The part of me that looks at the other women who have washboard abs and chiseled arms and thinks (or maybe whines) “Why can’t I have that?”.

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Kristen Hubbard
The Truth Won't Set You Free, If You Don't Set IT Free.

Many times, the truth requires actions we don’t want to take. Many times, the truth requires work we just don’t want to do. So we throw it on someone else, hoping that they’ll do it for us. Or that they’ll change enough that the truth changes and we can stop feeling this unbearable discontent.

But the truth, by definition, can’t be changed.

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Kristen Hubbard